A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing….as was the case with a co worker we shall call primitve dave for reaasons to be discussed at a future date
‘I’ve been thinking about what you said about identifying with things’ he seemed ready to lurch into a great philosophical diatribe….
“i’d love to hear it, but I have to warn you” I said
‘about what?’
“I’ve stopped” I said
he looked at me and started flapping his arms around “YES?”
‘examining my bellybutton’
“Have you told your therapist this?” he asked paternally
‘yes, she cried’
“Do you think this is a fugue state?”
He looked genuinly concerned I asked “are you trying to convince me that I’m mentally unstable, because I need no convincing.”
He shrugged his shoulders and walked away, I guess I took the wind out of his sails. After lunch he came back, no doubt flush with corpse lunch meat and the insult of Dunkin Donuts iced yuck
“Are you in trouble?’ he stated
“What do you mean what kind of trouble?”
‘You know, anything you may need help with…”
I thought for a moment not sure where this could lead..
‘I have an anal fissure, but I can’t ask you to help me with that, thats above and beyond.’
“Seriously” he looked exasperated
“Thank you, I’m just tired of playing this role”
“Your weird, thats not a role thats a lifestyle” he had a ‘no duh’ face on, like he was stating the obvious…he was
“you have poppy seeds in your teeth, now please floss before birds come and land on your face to feast on the meal caught between your bicuspeds”
and what were poppy seeds doing between primitive Daves teeth, usually he has pads of unconsumed flesh between his choppers…..he never did tell me about what his thoughts were about identifing through objects or images or a religion, race, sex or whatever….but seriously whats the point of examining and studying all of these philosophies when the only thiing we have is this moment now to be lived?
I’ve always liked John Candy, and one of my favorite movies by him is “Who’s Harry Crumb” lots of goofy humor, just what I like..nothing too high brow for me
I’ll let you in on a secret…I wish Edwina Monsoon was a friend of mine, in the next clip shes the dark haired woman, please watch
don’t ask why, it’s just one of the many things about myself that I choose not to examine…infact I’m getting a bit exhausted over all of this self-examination, it’s too time consuming, and to be perfectly honest I’m a teeny bit bored with myself. I much prefer being out and about getting on with the business of living.
Nine days to go before vacation Denver looks like a pretty happening spot, we were checking out one of those guide books and it seems like we will be mad tourists for a few days!
Weather report for Boston…gross…very hot and humid, am looking forward to October, my favorite month/ I had a fabulous cardio workout this afternoon, followed by turkey bacon, salad, jalapeno wrap. I’m trying to wait until the last minute before I go to bed to shower, sweating right after a shower is just not a happy place…but I have got a case of the funk….p.s. I never get tired of watching this video
It rained on my Jeep last night…I had to run out in my PIJAMMIES and cover her up…twas not pretty…..
A Note to anyone who likes movies please do not see The Happening, it is retarded. I love a good scary movie, infact I will go out of my way to see a good scary movie, SHOW ME ONE, am I jaded, does nothing scare me..
ummmmmmm, yeah certain things scare me…..a fu*ktard with his finger on the nuclear button scares me…oh that reminds me
its Saturday
I was told that my arch is too big to ever run long distances comfortably…after the DR told me that he said “If you saw the look on your face, im sorry” I ran a marathon, one…. thats enough, I love to run I can’t express that enough….running is perfect, like the great white shark..it is what I am when I run, every step I take I am part of the earth of the world, the weather, everything……. to me running is power and freedom and absolute joy, there is beauty in the simplicity of it
YOU
GO
RUN
Asics and Brooks gawds gift to archedly impaired humans like me…lets look at my other shoes, yeah it’s Saturday Im weird and why doesnt my fabulous nephew come to Denver and visit…thats another issue…did I mention him, my nephew? F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S, love him….
but first, the sun is coming up…one great thing about a laptop and wireless I get to sit outside check out Mrs Frog, listen ti the birds, get eaten alive by mosquitoes and see this
Yeah well a $200 camera doesnt do it justice, it’s lovely out here
Yeah, it’s summer why not let the dogs breathe free
is this post really about my shoes? Thats rhetorical. this post is about nothing, I have a draft about identification with things and images, but Im just not feeling it this morning….
Im thinking alot about James these days, James is my brother that died in May of last year…..I don’t think James is floating around I think he left, higher ground better places etc….he used to give out brussel sprouts on Halloween, yeah thats our families sense of humor…it’s not that James and I were close, we were both probably well misinformed about the other, but there was something very comforting in the fact that James was somewhere on Long Island cutting his lawn, playing with his kids, cheering for the Yankees, and now there is a void
It’s 85 degrees out….it’s not even 10am…yeah baby!!!!! Another random thought, the most beautiful place I ever went was Vinalhaven, Maine
I have to go workout..oh but one more song and one more photo
delicious….the Golden, the perfect human companion
An excellent hallucination inducing cardio workout yesterday. I do so love working out at the gym!
This is a good thing.
I am at the age where if you let your health start to slip, as quick as a flash I am wearing jeans with an elastic waistband, bloomers and mumus…it’s happened to a friend of mine. Anyway I just feel better when I work out…purification through perspiration.
I saw another video by this artist on another blog and loved it, so I grabbed one of her other videos, her music is very diverse, I like it…
I heard this song today, I’d forgotten how good it is, almost hypnotic..
Anyway, yesterday had a fabulous workout at the gym..I love riding my bicycle but I don’t get as good a workout as I do when I go to the gym. I get too busy lallygagging and looking at all the pretty birds and flowers..you know the life of a survivor of a head injury. So its back to the gym for me.
Buzz, the new wunderkind doesn’t start till next Monday. My vacation is only 3 weeks away, we are going to Denver….
Daily RoUTine
1) get up wayyy to ealry (I don;t mind getting up wayyy too early when it’s for anything but work)
2) lurch downstairs to shower and get ready for hell, careful to avoid scale that LIES
3) Grab assorted fruits, yogurt, granola, Kashi to help maintain stamina for huge amounts of employment bs
4) Select driving muisc, something loud, these days it’s ac/dc or Stone Temple Pilots
5) get mind right on drive in to employment
6) take large doeses of lithium before I punch in
7) next 9 hours go by in a pharmaceutical induced haze
Haze begins to lift as punch out time draws near, life begins to come back into focus
9) RUN out of building, get to gym asap
10) Work out till yoplait threatens to come back up
11) go home to shower, salad, partner
12) Lapse into coma
Which philosopher said to do everything with passion, lets try this today…I’m leaving the lithium at home
Tom got fired Friday…he was just your regular kind of guy…he just sucked at the job, and when your not the best at your job, the boss cans you…I told Tom to urinate in the bosses car, he declined. I had a feeling that he was going to get fired, the boss came around the other afternoon with some guy with no neck showing him around looking all google eyed. After he fired Tom yesterday and everyone had left (except me ofcourse) the boss came up to me and started fishing for validation….
“I hired Buzz”
Now Im going to call him Buzz because he has that style (if you can call it that ) haircut
“Buzz is the new wartime consiglerie of the cosa nostra, you know the job YOU didn’t want”
I nodded and continued working, when I saw Buzz I noticed his shirt was a polyester blend, I did not need to know anything more about him..this was enough, class dismissed
The boss started telling me how fabulous Buzz is…..we’ve been through this before, infact it wasn’t so long ago that the boss was in love with the recently fired Tom….he continued “..plus Buzz can balance plates on his head, shoot pool blindfolded and macrame!” the boss was fairly smug telling me this like he wanted me to know that Buzz was going to be MUCH better at the job then I would have been had I decided to take it…..”Did you know Buzz holds four olympic records in synchronized swimming and is the poet laurete of Russia?” yes boss, fairly smug for a man whos son was recently found slumped over on a toilet tripping on heroin….
“I hope Buzz makes you happy, your peace of mind is paramount”
I nodded and closed my eyes hoping he would be gone when I opened them…he was still there, shit.
he scrunched his one eyebrow (that extends from the left temple to the right)
“thats an odd thing to say”
I panicked
“I eat drain clogs….now THATS an odd thing to say.”
“Agreed!” he walked away
Im trying to figure something out, I heard an Elvis Costello song the other day..ok Elvis Costello
yeah, exactly
anyway how did this guy get this woman
so, thats the first thing I thought of after I heard the Elvis Costello song, how did Diana Krall get hooked up with that little troll?
I’m going for a long bike ride today…I’m looking forward to being out there….it’s going to be hot and gross, love it…
The sun came out this morning, just in time for the work week. I had four days off and ONE day of sunshine. I am fortunate though, my friend who lives down south spent the weekend in a Bobcat trying to stop a river from claiming his property, no wildfires, no twisters, just clouds and rain…ok that cured my bitching. Lets see what work will have in store for me this fine Monday morning….
It had tragedy interspersed with some good news…..the hoo hahs are officially OFF LIMITS to employees. There seems to be an issue with the owner, his wife, his girlfriend, his recently jilted ex-girlfriend and the chick he is currently experienced heaven with. One of his unhappy harem is writing notes and making phonecalls to the wife deatiling the…uhhh details- so we’ve been banned till someone confesses. I don’t know if this holds true for the Christmas and Thanksgiving hoo hahs, being my boss is the only one that sexually hazes his employees- either way it effects me…not so much.
I haven’t been too interested in politics lately, its just a means of enslavement…somebodys got to keep the caste system going, anyway I’ve had this phrase in my head and it won’t go away….. tolerence leads to submission, it’s like the numbers in that series Lost… tolerate just a little more hate, tolerate a little more racism, tolerate taking away of personal privacy and choice, tolerate that just a little bit more every year, it just seems that way to me. I read a book by Naomi Wolfe a few months ago, it was difficult to find in the store, and not because the book was flying off the shelves the saleswoman said someone kept coming in and taking the books from the shelves and hiding them elsewhere. Heres a link to a blurb in the UK newspaper The Guardian
I had this dream last night that my paternal grandmother was trying to kill me by feeding my a poisoned bologna sandwhich…..why poison my sammy grammy…this is not for me to know, it is the brains hocus pocus.
Sunday…and the magazine section of my Boston Globe is missing, meaning no crossword puzzle…I tried doing that number puzzle thing soduku <?> I don’t like numbers, they have no soul. I knew someone once who read engineering books for entertainment, they knew numbers but not poetry, I prefer the latter.
Anyway I went to a beach bbq yesterday, which would have been much nicer if the sun had made an appearance, its been overcast and raining Friday, saturday and now today as well. This bbq was my freinds work hoo hah, but she works with fun people who get along….not like the monsters I work with….she does not have ONE vampire in her office, not one, no ghouls, no grey people, no ass monkeys, no one practicing salvation through rampant consumerism…I am in an odd place this morning, lets see if this will helpBar Harbor, hiking in Acadia National Park…no, that didn’t help how about this
yeah that helped a bit…I think my weird mood comes from reading the story this morning about a homeless guy being beaten to death at noontime in Fanueil Hall, this is a very touristy place and very crowded…how does someone get beaten to death infront of a crowd of people…lets ask Kitty Genovese
Along a serene, tree-lined street in the Kew Gardens section of Queens, New York City, Catherine Genovese began the last walk of her life in the early morning hours of March 13, 1964. She had just left work, and it was 3:15 a.m. when she parked her red Fiat in the Long Island Railroad parking lot 20 feet from her apartment door at 82-70 Austin Street. As she locked her car door, she took notice of a figure in the darkness walking quickly toward her. She became immediately concerned as soon as the stranger began to follow her. “As she got out of the car she saw me and ran,” the man told the court later, “I ran after her and I had a knife in my hand.” She must have thought that since the entrance to her building was so close, she would reach safety within seconds. But the man was faster than she thought. At the corner of Austin Street and Lefferts Boulevard, there was a police call box, which linked directly to the 112th Precinct. She may have changed direction to call for assistance, but it was too late. The man caught up with Catherine, who was all of 5’1” and weighed just 105 pounds, near a street light at the end of the parking lot.
“I could run much faster than she could, and I jumped on her back and stabbed her several times,” the man later told cops.“Oh my God! He stabbed me!” she screamed. “Please help me! Please help me!” Some apartment lights went on in nearby buildings. Irene Frost at 82-68 Austin Street heard Catherine’s screams plainly. “There was another shriek,” she later testified in court, “and she was lying down crying out.” Up on the seventh floor of the same building, Robert Mozer slid open his window and observed the struggle below.
“Hey, let that girl alone!” he yelled down into the street. The attacker heard Mozer and immediately walked away. There was quiet once again in the dark. The only sound was the sobbing of the victim, struggling to her feet. The lights in the apartment went out again. Catherine, bleeding badly from several stab wounds, managed to reach the side of her building and held onto the concrete wall. She staggered over to a locked door and tried to stay conscious. Within five minutes, the assailant returned. He stabbed her again.
“I’m dying! I’m dying!” she cried to no one. But several people in her building heard her screams. Lights went on once again and some windows opened. Tenants tried to see what was happening from the safety of their apartments. The attacker then ran to a white Chevy Corvair at the edge of the railroad parking lot and seemed to drive away. On the sixth floor of 82-40 Austin Street, Marjorie and Samuel Koshkin witnessed the attack from their window. “I saw a man hurry to a car under my window,” he said later. “He left and came back five minutes later and was looking around the area.” Mr. Koshkin wanted to call the police, but Mrs. Koshkin thought otherwise. “I didn’t let him,” she later said to the press. “I told him there must have been 30 calls already.” Miss Andre Picq, a French girl, who lived on the second floor, heard the commotion from her window. “I heard a scream for help, three times,“ she later told the court, “I saw a girl lying down on the pavement with a man bending down over her, beating her.”
At about 3:25 a.m., Catherine, bleeding badly, stumbled to the rear of her apartment building and attempted to enter through a back entrance. The door was locked. She slid along the wall until she reached a hallway leading to the 2nd floor of 82-62 Austin Street but she fell to the vestibule floor. In the meantime, the man had returned again. “I came back because I knew I’d not finished what I set out to do,” he told cops later. He walked along the row of doors and calmly searched for the woman. He checked the first door and didn’t find her. He followed the trail of blood to the doorway where Catherine lay bleeding on the tiled floor. And there, while the defenseless victim lay semiconscious, incoherent from pain and loss of blood, he cut off her bra and underwear and sexually assaulted her. He then took $49 in cash from her wallet. “Why would I throw money away?” he asked the court at his trial. As Catherine moaned at his feet, probably unable to comprehend what had happened to her, the man viciously stabbed her again and killed her.
The man, who had selected his victim purely at random, ran to his car still parked where he left it. The entire event lasted at least 32 minutes. He said later that murder “was an idea that came into my mind, just as an idea might come into your mind, but I couldn’t put mine aside.” He jumped into his white sedan and fled the scene. A few blocks away, he came to a red light. He glanced over at the car idling next to him and saw that a man was asleep behind the wheel. The killer got out of his car and awakened the sleeping driver. He told the man he should go home. Then the killer, full of himself, $49 richer and not at all ashamed of what he had done, got back into his own car and drove off into the night.Catherine was his third murder.
It’s summertime and that means it’s time to watch JAWS, one of my all time favorite movies, it’s kept me out of the ocean for years!
and theres this tattoo number two, the great white shark, see a theme emerging?
As well as this in the Jeep
and OFCOURSE I have a JAWS movie poster framed and hanging on a wall. My love of sharks, hard to explain, I think they’re pure (as most animals are). Infact I was close to booking a vacation in Australia to go diving with great whites, in a cage of course (I’m not quite THAT retarded) but when the guy who ran the tours wouldn’t answer me about anyone being injured during a dive in the past, ALARM BELLS…think I headed down to Florida and drank rum runners that year…anyway I am quite fascinated with the great white…can you imagine those poor sea animals who have to live in something we humans regard as nothing but a dumping station? Truly, look at all the crap dumped into the waterways, look at the Great Barrier Reef…any coral reef, they are dying, we are killing them…humans are parasites, they come into an area, use up all the natural resources, foul the place then move on when nothings left…did someone say pear martini?
I have tomorrow off, a 4 day weekend…I’m looking forward to putting some miles on the bike…took the top off the Jeep, it’s not going back on till absolutely necessary! I’ve had some things boinging around in my brain all week and they won’t go away, they go something like this (then ask yourself why i drink)
each person is like an equation
Parental teachings +perception of life experiences creates an ego, that in turn creates a personality based on what it perceives as good/bad, right/wrong, acceptable/unacceptable but if you take the ego created personality away, what is left…we are not just the sum of our experiences, we are something connected, balanced and whole…this is where the motor starts stalling, I branch out into so many tangents that it’s hard to keep track, but this is where my head is at on Thursday…
as my friend would say..it aint gonna lick itself….how about some music
Haze begins to lift as punch out time draws near, life begins to come back into focus
so, thats the first thing I thought of after I heard the Elvis Costello song, how did Diana Krall get hooked up with that little troll?
