He cried small, leathery vampire tears-no one saw but me and I promised not to say anything, so I thought I would post it on the internet (please see previous post about what an callous human I am).
How does one make a vampire cry? Well, my boss did it by constantly demeaning the vampires work, yell at him for off the wall things like cleaning his coffin when he should be lording over his minions of the undead- in other words f*%k with his head-then the vampire cries. When I passed by and saw the tragedy I felt a twinge of something unfamiliar….sympathy?!!!! Nahhhh, possibly a gas bubble from yogurt one day past it’s “best to eat by ” date, anyway I approached Nosferatu, “whats wrong?” I asked not really caring. He vented a little of his frustrations about work, I listened and nodded, thinking about what to have for dinner. In the end I told him I wold help him, in the end somehow I’ll get screwed, but I can’t stand to watch Bram Stokers creation suffer so.
This morning I am off to work, my favorite. I’ve been enjoying my past few Saturday mornings off…but I need the cash, as always. Next Friday I am off for a few days and no ones giving away pear martinis or, if they were I’d move. Which reminds me, pear martinis are not top shelf pear vodka and a glass…I tried a small sip of the pear vodka and it tasted like vodka should, rubbing alcohol….so I asked 2 bartenders how they make the pear martini, one uses pear vodka, triple sec and pear schnapps or pear liquor, the other uses pear vodka and dry vermouth (which sounds kind of gross to me). But vodka straight, even the good stuff…gross, although I do like Bombay Sapphire straight…alright enough talk about boozing it up at 5:43am. I need some music…love this song by Madge, well, pretty much I love any song by Madge…I hate work!
