Texsux

                                             

This is my favorite view of Texas…about 30,000 feet below and behind me.  I’ve considered the fact that I may be being too harsh on the lone star state…but I’m not.  Our mistake was taking 5 days in Texas when it could have been successfully navigated in less than 45 minutes, alright THAT was a bit harsh.  Anyway, sitting here in this plane behind a bunch of giggling teachers from Dallas, I realize that there are even more things I’m snobby about.

 

Anyway, I promised some interesting information about where we stayed and the cast of characters that run the inn.  We chose the place because the website offered some pretty nice photos, some nice amenities, the rooms were all historical, outfitted with antiques, some had hot tubs, fireplaces…the whole works..it looked too good to be true, and yes, it was.  When we pulled up to the front of the place after driving through a crappy part of town (which actually WAS the town), we came upon something that may have looked like the website photo..in the 1940s when the place was kept up.  It looked a bit like the Herman Munster house but with a few sad looking, diseased palm trees.  Ok, we enter, the first floor is beautiful, a lot of ornate word work and an intoxicated front desk clerk who is also the handy man….ummm handy woman.  She checks us in and confesses that she is new to town and can’t really help us out with directions, but if we want to rent her car for the day she’ll only charge us $150….right.  Good news though, they offer a fridge filled with all kinds of local beers and we are to help ourselves, our hosts first error in judgment, there will be several.  Our drunken concierge is still talking, but I am no longer interested in her syrupy accent, she said free beer and my senses are now blocking out any other information.

 

Our room is on the second floor, up a very lovely set of stairs, our now handy woman tells us that the room was just painted, so don’t mind the dusty spackle residue on the walls, and if you want to use the Jacuzzi, “You may want to wash it down there’s probably some grit in there.”  There are some other issues with the room, and it would be a pleasure to pick them apart, but lets just say it wasn’t quite what we expected….onto our hosts…

 

Every Friday and Saturday night there’s a martini hour, this Friday night happened to be our slightly shaky handywoman’s birthday!  We figured she was celebrating all day, we were offered some birthday cake, as were the rest of the guests who had come down to chat with the hosts.  Only one of our hosts was sitting with us, and he had hit the martinis a lot earlier then six pm, and martini glasses must be one of the things they grow BIG in Texas, what was slopping around in his meaty fist was a fish  bowl, filled with olives and vodka.  I couldn’t figure out if it was the slurring or the heavy Texas accent that made his attempt at chatting nearly incomprehensible.  We didn’t go to Saturday’s martini hour; our handywoman/concierge was holding court as we passed by.

 

We actually had a good time, next time we are going to stay in wine country, but if you watch the final four on tv this weekend, and they show you some pretty pictures of san antonio, enjoy the view from your easy chair.